Toilet Paper Part Two: Where does it go?

In my case, once it leaves my possession, it’s whisked away by my highly efficient, environmentally friendly low-flow toilet. It travels down the pipes, into the septic tank and through the pump before it’s distributed through the field line that lays under my backyard.

Except when it doesn’t because your pump is broken and all that papery goodness has no place to go except back up the pipes from whence it came.

The first call is to the plumber who shows up at 7 and reams out pipes for a hour and half.

He was the best smelling plumber I ever met, but I walked outside after he got started and understood why he doused himself in cologne.

He got us past the immediate emergency (ie. no flushing) but said that we needed to have the system pumped out the next day.

So, at 9 the next morning, this showed up:

Husband called it the Honey Wagon. The guy driving it had another name which I’ll leave to your imagination. Honey Wagon guy walked around the yard and poked sticks here and there and was generally disapproving of our septic tank maintenance. A little while later, Back Hoe guy showed up and the fun really started.

I figure this is about when we passed the thousand dollar mark.

Have you ever used a latrine at a state park? Or an outhouse? Or a Port-A-Potty?

We also bought these big black things today too.

The moral of the story? Just because you’ve flushed, doesn’t mean you’ve seen the last of your toilet paper.


Filed under At Home

11 responses to “Toilet Paper Part Two: Where does it go?

  1. mother

    your timing was perfect with your last blog. What a fun Christmas subject
    and I am sure that is just what you wanted for Christmas. Just be glad it didnt bubble out and run into your neighbors’ yard like ours did on Lookout Mtn.

  2. oh, dear… not a good way to start the holidays. i had to pay a plumber $100 to show up and run a gigantic drain snake into my stopped up toilet a few years ago – and it was the best $100 i’d ever spent. granted, i still need to get to a hardware store and buy that $20 drain snake one of these days… but having to bring out the “Ka Ka Sucker” to pump the septic? Ouch.

  3. Julie

    Another case of “want to buy” versus “have to buy”, right? These photos are not nearly as lovely as those you ‘ve shared from vacations. Nor does this little story have that loveliness quality about it that we come to expect with most Christmas stories. Yes, people showed up and brought presents, but you had to pay for them and we can only hope that the visitors were “wisemen” in their own special way.

  4. I love the educational nature of this blog.

    Thank you, Prof. Franklin.

  5. Potty talk pulls at the purse string. Our system is a state-of-the-art alternative system which actually treats the wastewater (because of our wetland status and proximity to town water source). It has an electrical Bio-Kinetic aeration process which supposedly filters back out 99% clean water. Talk about maintenance and replacement. Ugh. I hear ya, HIF.

  6. Mother–Yes, this is exactly what I wanted. A septic tank and a pony.
    DF–Pumping was only part of it unfortunately.
    Julie–They were really nice guys–local boys.
    Ellie–I know far more about septic tanks than I ever wanted.
    Jayne–Oh, your system sounds very fancy. Ours is much more of the hole-in-the-ground variety. So would you drink that 99% clean water? šŸ™‚

  7. Gah! Actually, it’s probably better than the town water. šŸ˜‰

  8. Daisy is right. This is no way to welcome the holidays. And having to drag in the heavy equipment? It’s like getting coal in your stocking. Were you naughty this year? Because it looks like you’re being punished.

    I know they’re environmentally friendly, but low flow commodes just don’t perform like their environmentally unsound cousins.

  9. UB–At least it wasn’t raining–that would’ve been a real mess.

  10. What is up with clogged pipes and major holidays? I’ve had more than my share.

    Happy holidays

  11. Katie Barbarossa

    Love the name on the Truck: ARS Rescue Rooter

    So, do those pretty black things now stick out of the ground? If so, maybe you can make self fertilizing planters out of them..

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