I Forgot To Tell Y’all About This

The first morning we were in California I was trying to figure out the fancy little coffee maker.

Like all coffee makers, it involves water and, well, coffee. They just go in different compartments than I’m used to. After I finally get it all screwed together in the right order and on the stove, I start looking around.

I saw this little black flashlight on top of the fridge. I pick it and turn it on. Only instead of light coming out there’s a misty spray. A few seconds later I was coughing up a lung, my nose was running and my eyes were watering.

I had pepper sprayed myself.

Brilliant.

9 Comments

Filed under General Frippery, Travel

9 responses to “I Forgot To Tell Y’all About This

  1. Oh. My. God.

    I don’t know whether it’s entirely appropriate to laugh, but I have to admit, I am!

    What did you do? Can you wash the residue off or wait it out? How long does the pain / discomfort last?

    Thanks for the laugh. Sorry it came at such expense!

  2. YOWSAH! I shall back away from all little black flashlights!

    I’ll bet it was awful! Now that you’ve checked it out, would you recommend them for protection?

  3. An observant Californian would have found all their preconceived notions about Southerners entirely confirmed!

  4. Who the hell leaves pepper spray on top of the fridge? Were you on Candid Camera? I maced myself once. Wow, did that hurt!

  5. Julie

    See? If you had been a Californian, you would have known what that “little flashlight” was. We down here in the South prefer our semi-automatic machine guns to protect ourselves from those half-crazed deer out there in the woods.

  6. I maced myself once, too. Not only did it hurt, it literally took my breath away. Completely. I didn’t think I was going to survive. It was some scary shit. How close to mace is pepper spray? Hopefully not too close.

    And I’m wondering who the hell leaves pepper spray on top of the fridge, too!

    I’m also wondering how much more often mace/pepper spray is used on oneself than an actual intruder/attacker.

    “FLASHLIGHTS don’t spray people, PEOPLE spray, um, well, themselves, actually.”

  7. Ellie–Laughter is definitely the appropriate response. It wore off in half an hour or so.
    MM–Considering that I only got a whiff and not a full frontal dose, I’d say it’s an excellent deterrent.
    Nance–Two commenters here did the same thing–one from New York and the other from California. So do you want to expound on those preconceived notions?
    UB–You maced yourself? Glad to be in such good company. That wasn’t very observant of you.
    Julie–Good one. 🙂
    Elise–Don’t you know that people in California are supposed to be more observant than that? As for the difference, I couldn’t tell you, but I have the assumption that mace is worse.

  8. Well, I’m originally from Texas. Which explains a lot, don’t you think?

  9. Oh my god, I know I shouldn’t be laughing but the little film playing in my mind has a silent film piano blaring and the frantic, jerky motion of a Buster Keaton film.

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