The first morning we were in California I was trying to figure out the fancy little coffee maker.
Like all coffee makers, it involves water and, well, coffee. They just go in different compartments than I’m used to. After I finally get it all screwed together in the right order and on the stove, I start looking around.
I saw this little black flashlight on top of the fridge. I pick it and turn it on. Only instead of light coming out there’s a misty spray. A few seconds later I was coughing up a lung, my nose was running and my eyes were watering.
I had pepper sprayed myself.