Whack-a-Mole: Our Battle with a Five Ounce Menace

There’s a battle going on in my front yard.

Playing for the home team is Husband, international businessman with a master’s degree in engineering.

On the visitor’s side: the mole, five ounces of blind destruction. Mole is determined to make my front yard the super highway of moledom. The on ramp to the good life underground. He stealthily moves from tree to tree and every morning we wake up to new evidence of his night-time frolics.

Everyone has a home remedy for getting rid of the moles. Some say you should mix lye with boiling water and pour into the tunnel. Others have been known to hook  one end of a  hosepipe up to their car exhaust, stick the other end in the tunnel and then turn the car on.  Various pellets, poisons and pills can be found on the shelves at stores dealing with such products.

We’ve tried to get the cat interested in mole hunting, but she can’t be bothered.

So our weapon of choice is the trap.

As you can see, this trap is set right on Mole Main Street. But this is what happens:

He just waltzes right past it.

A little while ago Husband said the trap was sprung and we went out to see if the tiny blind bastard finally bit the dust.

Nope. Empty trap. The mole lives on to dig another day.

And I swear I heard laughter as we walked away.


Filed under At Home, General Frippery

12 responses to “Whack-a-Mole: Our Battle with a Five Ounce Menace

  1. The cat looks far too sophisticated to go get her paws dirty with molesense.

    I picture The Engineer all decked out like Bill Murry in Caddyshack.

    Keep us updated!


  2. This is your penance for burning your lawn and upsetting your neighbours! They probably bought it on-line, specially.

  3. Moth balls! My mom swears by moth balls.

    But she stopped using the moth balls when a neighbor asked her to trap the mole instead. So he could eat it. Yep, there’s a perfectly fine supermarket down the street but apparently fresh mole is the food of choice.

  4. My sympathies. I understand completely about critter crazies. I looked outside this evening and SEVEN chipmunks were playing tag in my roses. My husband ignores them, however, in his concentrated effort to keep one particularly arrogant squirrel (with a fetish for bird seed) away from the bird feeders.

    You’ve taken away my last hope, however. I was thinking of getting a cat…!

  5. tulip

    Just know that if you get rid of the mole(s) in your yard, the neighbor’s mole(s) will move in.
    My mother killed a mole once, while gardening. She strangled it! But that was some years ago, and she doesn’t garden much any more, or I’d volunteer her services. Good luck – and I loved the Caddyshack reference!

  6. Karen A

    I think husband should camp out there overnight and catch mole with his bare hands!

  7. Moles are unbeatable. Surrender and hope for generous terms.

  8. Sigh…my hubby is battling an Armadillo who is tunneling under our house and a tortoise who wants to share the tunnel….and then there are the squirrels….stray cats….

  9. I don’t know what it is about moles but they freak me out a bit. I think its their disproportionately large hands.

    I hope they move on soon! x

  10. We had moles when I first moved to New Jersey. We called an exterminator and he dotted our front lawn with mole traps. Over a dozen. They made our house look utterly ridiculous and were ineffective. $360.

    I was walking in the house from work and I saw a spot on the lawn undulate. A mole! I ran into the garage, grabbed a shovel and started stabbing the lawn like a crazed psycho killer. My wife came out and ask, “What in the world are you doing!” It was also ineffective.

    We finally got rid of them by attacking their food source. They eat grubs. We put grub killer in the law. No more moles!

  11. All, I just wrote pithy, hilarious replies to each of you and WordPress ate them. Although I will explore the grub killer idea, UB.

    Thanks as always for reading.

  12. Now the song is stuck in my head, thank you very much. I’m alright, don’t nobody worry ’bout me…..

    It looks like there will be war in Franklin. God’s speed to you brave soldiers.

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