Dear Post Office,

I heard recently that you were considering cutting back on home delivery and that Saturday mail might not be around much longer. I applaud your cost-cutting measures, but I have a request. As long as you’re eliminating a day’s mail, could you make it Tuesday?

Tuesday mail is never any fun. It’s nothing more than left over circulars that didn’t quite fit into the Sunday paper. It’s coupons for stuff I don’t buy, menus for restaurants I don’t patronize and floppy, flimsy little pieces of paper from nail salons and cut-rate roofers. It never even makes it into my house, so you could save yourself a lot of time and effort by not delivering it at all.

In fact, you don’t need to deliver much of anything to me, except the following:

  1. Invitations and announcements, preferably with really fancy calligraphy on the envelope
  2. Thank-you notes, thoughtfully written on interesting stationary
  3. Window envelopes through which I can clearly read: Pay to the order of Here In Franklin
  4. Notices that my insurance is about to be canceled because I tossed out the bill after mistaking it for junk mail

I can pretty much do without everything else.

So, do we have a deal?

Sincerely,

Here In Franklin

3 Comments

Filed under General Frippery

3 responses to “Dear Post Office,

  1. Julie Fisher

    Eliminating all that other stuff in your mailbox would almost completely destroy our democratic society and our enterprising economy. No, you just have to keep tossing all that stuff away in order to help “grow” America. Come on, Cindy, don’t you realize that the recycling industry as well as the advertising industry depends on your tossing skills?

  2. Mother

    You are so right. Just got my Tues mail which consisted of Terminix wanting to get rid of my termites; Direct TV telling me they are much better than Comcast; Chase Manhattan with a better credit card, The Feds telling me to send in my census report (done), AARP second notice re my dues which were sent in last month-you can tell that outfit is run by old people and last but not least an advertisement addressed to Lucinda Rutherford who hasnt lived here in over 30 years.

  3. Oh, dear. It sounds like you are entering a deal with the devil.

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