Hey Alex Trebek–I Thought We Were Tight

Here it is…New Year’s Eve. The last minutes of the first decade of the new millenium are ticking away. But it’s not 2009 that I’ll be seeing in my rear view mirror tomorrow–it’s my chance to be on Jeopardy.

Early in 2008 I took an online test, the first step to being on the show. I thought I did pretty well, especially since Husband was nearby to tell me names of mountains and chemicals. A few months went by and then, in June, I was invited to audition in person in Chicago. So off we went to the big city. I auditioned with about 30 other people. They gave us a timed, written test and out of the 100 questions, I probably missed at least 20 (mostly about mountains and chemicals). Obnoxious ass in front of me was “quite certain” he had only missed two. After that, we went up in groups of three and played a mock game, complete with categories and clickers. I did better there and the people from the show seemed enchanted by my Southern charm. Plus I totally figured out the buzzer and beat the pants off my fellow contestants.

They told us that they would score our written test and combine that with our mock game performance and that our names would go in the  hopper with the thousands of others trying out for the show. We were in the contestant pool, they told us, for the next 18 months.

That 18 months is now down to 6 hours and I just don’t think Alex will be calling Franklin on New Year’s Eve.

I watch the show most nights and I know that on some of those shows I would’ve cleaned up. Categories dealing with word play, literature, food and sports are right in my wheelhouse. And I’m unbeatable in Potent Potables. But if it’s night heavy on Africa, explorers and presidents, I’m toast.

Alex, I won’t hold it against you. I know that you really don’t have much to do with who gets on the show and who doesn’t. But I think we could’ve had some fun…had some laughs. I didn’t want much–a hundred thousand would’ve been perfect. Enough to redo the kitchen and have enough left over for a really swanky trip.

I know my time is up…but if you ever find yourself needing a contestant on short notice, you know where to find me.

12 Comments

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12 responses to “Hey Alex Trebek–I Thought We Were Tight

  1. sandi

    You crack me up!!!

  2. Aw, DAMMIT!

    That is a sad tale. I would say, “their loss,” but since you’re the one down $100K (or more!), I’ll just send a virtual pat on the back and encourage you to try, try again. One never knows, right?

    And, um, are you not going to go into the secrets of the clicker?

  3. Nice..maybe try out for Who Wants to be a Millionaire???

  4. Julie Fisher

    Alex’s loss for sure!
    Now about this “redoing the kitchen” thing. I thought we’d been over this before. Didn’t all of us vote for trip over kitchen when you took a poll before? Besides, from what I’ve experienced from your old, frumpy, decrepit kitchen, your cooking could not possibly be improved by anything Viking or Williams Sonoma has to sell. (That goes, by the way, for your mama’s cooking, too.)

  5. Let’s start our own game. 😉

  6. Hey, Alex! How’z about you take “Missed Golden Opportunities for $200”?

  7. I would have arranged my entire calendar around watching it. Damn!

  8. Sandi-How was the guitar drop? 🙂
    Elise–I’m afraid I’ve said too much already.
    Sarah–But I can’t stand Merideth Vieria. She’s the reason I quit watching the Today Show.
    Julie–I was going to do both! And I do love all those shiny objects in Williams Sonoma.
    Ellie–You know if we created a game it would be the best. damn. game. ever!
    DF–I know…it would’ve been epic. Or, I might’ve been one of those pathetic losers that doesn’t even make it final Jeopardy because they don’t have any money.
    MG–damn straight you would’ve!

  9. Karen

    Alex and America have missed out on what would have been one of the most memorable contestants of all time. Our loss.

  10. I’m with Ellie. I’m pretty sure that the majority of the blogs I read are full of people who could rock the hell out of Jeopardy. With you in the lead, of course.

  11. Ah well. Try again in 2010!

  12. That dude who was ‘pretty sure he missed only 2’ hasn’t been on there, has he? If you see him, let us know so we can boo his arrogant ass! 😉

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