This post from my blog buddy Dingo pretty much sums up all the reasons I could never live in New York City. It’s not that I have anything against New York, it’s that it’s just too big. Too loud. Too crazy.
I grew up–and still live–in a place where people speak with a slow drawl. (Although they’re becoming harder to find.) Downtown means Main Street. And while we were larger than the iconic “one-horse town,” we were still pretty darn small.
The first time I went to New York City I was in my late 20s, 30 at the most. One of our planned activities was meeting up with husband’s cousin. This girl is Southern to the core. Grew up in Mississippi. College in Nashville. She graduated and went to New York. We were supposed to call her at a pre-arranged time. Remember, this is before the days of cell phones, texts or e-mails.
We find a pay phone on a sidewalk in Manhattan.
I dial the number.
“Nuyawker” the voice at the other end screeched.
“Hhhhello” I whispered.
I turned to husband…”A mean lady yelled at me and I hung up.”
(In case my attempts at dialect fell flat, cousin worked at The New Yorker magazine.)
Husband called back and braved the mean lady and our cousin got a good laugh out of the story.
A day or so later we decided that we wanted to have a genuine New York delicatessen experience. We went to a famous deli and got in line. I carefully watched all the people in front of me order. I studied the menu. I confidently walked up to the counter when it was my turn.
“WHADDAYA HAVE?” the man in white yelled. (why do they keep yelling?)
“Corned beef with Swiss cheese on rye bread” I said with as much brio as I could muster.
He nodded…and I should’ve left well enough alone.
You’d’ve thought I asked for a side of pickled baby.
“NO” he said. (loudly) “YOU CANNOT PUT MAYONNAISE ON CORNED BEEF.”
“Yes, please” I replied.
He just shook his head, muttered something about dumb hicks and made my sandwich. Without mayo.
So here’s what I think about New York: It’s a great place. It’s got energy and style and Real Housewives. But it’s not for me. I just can’t stand all that yelling.