Easter Conversations (not a post about religion)

The following conversation is not 100% guaranteed accurate. But it’s pretty darn close.

Sib. 1  My doctor said my gall bladder was the most diseased one he’d ever seen.

Sib. 3 Mine was worse…I was in the hospital for over a week

Sib 3 Besides that, my scar goes from here (breast bone) to here (hip bone) And they had to move my ribs to even get to it.

Sib 1 Well, but you’re not walking about with  metal  plates and rods in your body

Sib 3 Yeah, but I had a hysterctomy when I was only 24

Sib 1 I had idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura

Sib 3 So did I, plus I had scarlett fever

Sib 1 I’ve had both thumbs operated on

Sib 3 I had carpal tunnel

Sib 2 I had an ovarian cyst that grew long blond hair.

Silence

The blond cyst wins every time.

That wasn’t a conversation between octogenarians–it was 3 sisters–65, 50 and 48. In fact, the only octogenarian at the table has always been blessedly healthy. But between us, the children have probably had close to 40 surgeries. It’s not that we’re unhealthy either…stuff just happens.

You have to understand that this hospitalization one-upsmanship was on the heels of a discussion of putting various pets to sleep. Plus one where a niece annouced that she wanted her grandmother to buy a boat they could both live on–seeing as how they’re both unemployed and all. A discussion of unemployed vs. retired followed.

I don’t know what other families discuss around the Easter table. Maybe pretty dresses or the morning’s sermon.

As for us, you just never know…and that makes it interesting.

16 Comments

Filed under At Home

16 responses to “Easter Conversations (not a post about religion)

  1. At our family Easter table, there used to be a lot of passive aggressive moaning.

    This Easter, our table was a picnic blanket in the woods with friends. I much prefer that one!

  2. Julie Fisher

    What is discussed at our Easter family table is not near as fascinating as what is discussed on the way home in their cars. I would just love to be there to listen in–politics, religion, clothing, priorities, all of these are judged wrong by certain factions in the family. I love it, wouldn’t dream of not provoking these thoughts in these cars, don’t ever remember it’s being otherwise. Nothing in this world like family love. . .nothing!

  3. Kimmer

    I think I’m coming to Easter dinner with YOU next year! I still think my family is full of entertainment…but your family is in a class all by itself. I love it!

  4. Wow. And I thought MY family had interesting conversations!

  5. I read ‘blind cyst’ and thought ‘I wonder what an all-seeing cyst is like … probably scary as hell!’. x, e

  6. Our Easter table also included 3 siblings of your generation and of your family. They argued about where they were born and where they went to high school. You would think these were fairly normal things to remember, but none of them really believed the others’ answers.

  7. J9

    Long blond hair?!? Yeah, that is a conversation stopper.

    Our Easter brunch conversations weren’t that much better, however. We had a great meal with the mom and both brothers, etc. The topper, however, was when Brother #1 went to his car to bring back in the gun he wanted to show Brother #2. Yeah, that’s when I took my cue to leave the table . . . Happy Freakin’ Easter.

  8. Free Man–that sounds wonderful. Hope you saw some bunnies.
    Julie–I recall an Easter with your family…yeah…just glad we’re still friends.
    Kimmer–you’re welcome at my table ANY time.
    Jen–come on down and see how we do it Franklin
    Ellie–if I had an all-seeing cyst, I’d probably keep it.
    Currier–is our family great or what?
    J9–like I said on the phone, nothing says happy Easter like a shiny new gun

  9. Little Sister

    Next time we will have the unemployed or retired niece take notes, to insure accuracy. I was in the hospital well over 2 weeks, and 30ish when I got a hysterectomy..and you for got my cat scratch fever!!

  10. LS—like I said, no guarantees for accuracy. I never knew you had cat scratch fever.

  11. Niece Lash

    You know that cyst’s hair was totally dyed blond if it is in our family.

  12. Hee! This post really made me laugh. I’m 33 and have had 3 kidney surgeries (kidney stones), a c-section, 3 biopsies, a mastectomy, and an breast implant insertion procedure. On top of that I’m BRCA2 positive and had anorexia for 5 years. I feel like such an old lady when I have to fill out my medical history.

  13. I read about the cyst with a blonde hair and all I could think about was that you were going to launch into some Ripley’s Believe it or Not about it being some sort of unformed twin or something. Yeah, I need to stop watching late night TV. Nothing good ever comes of it.

  14. Little Sister

    Lash…fyi my hair is REALLY blonde. Everyone else turned darker, but not me. You are right, the cyst was probably dyed.

  15. Older Sister

    I agree on the accuracy part Little Sis……..maybe we should just invest in a tape recorder.

  16. Julie

    Yeah right little sis – and you also think you are only 40 on facebook! I think I am glad I stayed in Chatt this year for Easter!

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