The Tennessee legislature is in session–and while that’s good news for all the waitresses over at Hooters downtown, it’s not so good for the rest of us who are paying for their wisdom, discernment and leadership. In the past few days, the following items have been discussed either on the floor of the House or Senate.
1. A bill allowing people with gun permits to take their guns into a state park.
I can see it now—little Billy and little Susie are playing on the swing set. Billy pushes Susie. Susie falls down and cries. Susie’s daddy complains to Billy’s daddy about his son, the bully. Thank goodness Billy’s daddy has his gun. He whips it out and shoots Susie’s daddy. End of story. In a late development, however, it seems that this measure may not come to pass. The reason? It would be too expensive to change out all the signs telling people that guns aren’t allowed in state parks. One legislator actually suggested duct taping over existing signs, but that was deemed tacky.
2. A bill outlawing saggy pants.
Thank goodness someone is finally addressing this issue. I know I’ll sleep better knowing that every kid from the Mississippi River to the Smoky Mountains will have his pants firmly attached at the waist. Possibly with duct tape.
3. A bill allowing color advertisements on school buses
Currently, only black and white ads are allowed on school buses…and only on the rear. One elected official felt that color ads might be distracting to other drivers, especially blue ones. and would cause drivers to crash into the school buses.
4. State beverage and state mineral
Ever heard of Jack Daniels? Ever wonder how much money and notoriety it’s earned the state? Doesn’t matter. Milk is now the official beverage of Tennessee. And agate is our official mineral.
5. Prove it Obama!
Even though it didn’t occur during this current session, a few of our leaders got together a while back and signed on as plaintiffs in a law suit designed to make President Obama prove he’s American—they want to see his birth certificate.
I hope that before this legislative session is over our representatives remember that unemployment and the current economic meltdown are more important that saggy trousers and milk.