Green Schmeen

I swear I’m the only person in this town who doesn’t carry in her own special “green” grocery bags everytime she goes to the store.

I’ve seen your disdainful sneers. I’ve seen you smug greensters staring at me as I walk into the store.

“Hey…look at that woman over there…the pretty one…she’s not carrying any bags…I bet she doesn’t recycle.”

That’s right…and when the cashier says “paper or plastic” I step right up and announce my preference for plastic.

Here’s the deal with me and re-usable bags: in order to properly use the bags, they must be with you when you go to the store. And that would require forethought and or-gan-i-za-tion. Talents  that I seem to have misplaced. Rest assured that if I had such bags they would be in the house when I was shopping. If they ever happened to actually be in the car, it would be on a day when the pantry was full. Regardless, the odds of the bags being where I needed them, when I needed them are about the same as my NCAA bracket being half right.

Oh, and speaking of the pantry, exactly what is it full of? All those plastic bags I bring my groceries home in. You see, we use those bags for garbage…for free. We don’t buy additional scented plastic bags for garbage…we put it in the free bags from the store.

So I think we break even in the karma deparment.

You have to understand that husband works in the plastic recycling business and we do recycle: newspaper, cardboard, aluminum cans and plastic drink bottles and milk jugs. And it’s a pain because we have neither curb-side pickup or city trash collection. That means that every couple of weeks we pack up all that trash and take to the recycling center.

So please, I’d appreciate it if you’d knock off the supercilious looks down at Publix and Whole Foods. Especially if you’re carrying your re-usable bags around in a giant SUV.


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15 responses to “Green Schmeen

  1. I got one of those cheapo green backs on a recent trip to Barnes & Noble. And I’ve gotten pretty good about taking the book out when I get to where I’m going and leaving the bag in the car.

    Of course, I then forget to carry it in . . . and I’ll be damned if I’m walking back out to my car to get it.

    And I feel you about lack of recycling pickup. We do the lug thing as well . . .

  2. I always forget to take my reusable tote with me. I also think those totes are great when you are going to pick up just a few things but if, like me, you hate grocery shopping and try to save it all until there are only dried lentils and a can of chicken broth in your pantry, a shopping expedition needs a u-haul and not a flimsy tote.

    I also recycle my plastic bags by using them to pick up doggy poo when I walk Dingo Girl.

  3. They’ve outlawed plastic shopping bags in Adelaide. I don’t know what I’m going to pick up dog crap with.

  4. You have Publix??? I’m so jealous. I love me some Publix– oh, actually when I was in Florida visiting I bought some black Publix bags– and I have them in the trunk of my SUV in Sydney.

    (By the way, that was my favorite part– where you said “look at that woman over there– the pretty one”). You’re funny.

  5. Julie Fisher

    Yes, I know just what you’re talking about. Why, it seems like every time I enter the grocery armed sanctimoniously with my GREEN BAGS, I spot someone I know (I mean, even my own dearest grandchildren’s godmother, pretty though she may be) carrying PLASTIC BAGS (!) around. I love it actually–makes me feel absolutely and religiously SAVED.
    One serious question: why do they put just one or two items in each plastic bag? Do they think our arms can’t lift more than 8 ounces at a time, or does each bagger get a dollar for every plastic bag he or she stuffs???

  6. mongoliangirl

    We use our plastic grocery bags as garbage bags too! I keep thinking of this one canvas bag I have upstairs that would be great as a reusable grocery bag. But, for some unknown reason, I never go up there to get it.

  7. The ‘re-usable bag’ trend hasn’t really caught on here yet. We use the plastic bags for trash bags AND kitty litter bags, so I think we balance out karma-wise too.

  8. Ty’s Daddy–We live about 100 yards from city limits, so no pickup. We could pay a service, but we don’t–we’re cheap that way.
    Dingo–if you soak the dried lentils in the chicken broth you can make a soup-like substance.
    Free Man–I know the bags are problem in some areas…but don’t they still sell Hefty and their Oz equivilent?
    FGiS–Yes…Publix has migrated north to Tennessee. And thanks.
    Julie–I’m always telling the baggers to put more in…I think they’re following some random rule whereby the toothpaste cannot touch the broccoli.
    MG–You don’t want to make too many trips upstairs. I see my attic about twice a year.
    Jen–Keeping the karma balanced is tricky. Mine is always tipping over.

  9. Your last line sums it up perfectly. I just love when people driving massive vehicles have the audacity to chide others for not living green. Pah-lease. I use the plastic bags at the grocery store, too. My life teeters on the edge of chaos and remembering to bring those bags would just never, ever happen. Besides, I would need about 20 of them. Because when I go to the grocery store, I don’t play. It’s a huge event and a lot of food gets purchased.

  10. Karen A

    We use the plastic bags for dog crap AND kitty litter scooping. I can’t imagine what I would do without them. I guess I would have to buy “special” plastic bags at the pet store.

  11. Hah!…exactly my experiences with the whole envirosac thing. I have some, never in the car…usually sitting on the deck full of recyclables. And the extra plastic garbage bags? Donated to the thrift stores to use for their customers…Extra Karma points for that, methinks 🙂

  12. Older Sister

    If I’m not mistaken I gave you one of those bags as a gift????? They can get 10 times more in one of those bags than the little plastic ones……….try it you might like it!! (If you can lift it)

  13. Julie

    That’s a crappy gift mom! Hopefully, for aunt cindy’s sake there was something nice inside the bag!

  14. hahahahahahahaha. so i am one of those green bag toting folks … but i don’t look at you funny, i promise.

    love you blog!!!!!!!!!

  15. you are miles ahead of me in the recycling karma department. I use both plastic bags AND I buy the scented garbage bags, meaning I never actually use the plastic bags from the store. But I do save them for reasons I still have not figured out. They just pile into a gigantic mountain until they take on a life of their own and if I want to find one, I end up knocking over the whole mountain of twenty million shopping bags.

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