Here kitty kitty

Once a year my cat, cleverly named Kitty, has to go to the vet. It’s a yearly ritual that husband avoids. I’m the one who shoves her in the cage. I’m the one who makes her sit in a room full of dogs. I’m the one who holds her while the vet jams needles in her leg. He’s the one who’s there to open the cage once we’re back home…the one who carries her back into the house and consoles her. Last Saturday was no different.

(I have to make a confession here. I really don’t like dogs very much. They bark at you and jump on you and smell. Actually, it’s probably more accurate to say that I don’t like dog owners very much. Those same people who laugh while their dog jumps on you. They always say the same thing.

“Oh, he won’t bite.”

You know, I don’t care. Keep your dog off me. With that being said, I’m not a total dog disser. I do like Bugs who is the beloved companion of Sally. Bugs is calm. And if he snatches the occasional cake from the table, well, it probably shouldn’t have been there in the first place.)

Off to the vet we go. Kitty is probably a little embarrassed by her cat cage. It truly is an antique. A relic from a relative’s days spent working in a lab at the local university. It’s metal on all sides except the door which is a wire mesh. It weighs about 20 pounds and is a far cry from the pet carriers all the rich pets have.

As I’m signing in at the vet, a woman comes in with her dog. Dog immediately jumps on me. She laughs. I recoil. The dog to cat ratio is 8 to 1. And then the nurse calls a name and a man who didn’t have a pet motioned to his family outside to come in. At last, another cat. A Siamese wrapped in a blanket with only the top portion of her body showing. Her ears were pointed and she was alert–watching everything around her.

Finally, they call my name. Thank goodness because the only reading material was a book of children’s Bible stories. I know how that one ends.

We get in the exam room and Kitty refused to come out of the cage. Her claws were wrapped around that wire mesh and she was determined not to leave the space that she had been forced into only a little while earlier. Finally the vet assistant and I get her out and the first order of business is weighing her. 10 pounds, on the nose. The exact same weight she has been for five years. Stupid cat.

The vet comes in and starts the exam. And Kitty starts acting like she’s possessed. She hisses. She foams at the mouth. She bares her teeth. I fully expect to see her levitate at any moment. The doctor forces a pill down her throat and then stupidly turn his back. Cat spits pill across the room.

Score: Cat one. Vet zero.

But in the end, of course, he won the day and three shots later we were done. As I stood in line waiting to pay my bill, the family with the Siamese cat came down the hall. Each of them…mother, father and daughter…were red-eyed and sniffling. And they were leaving without their cat.

“That’ll be $100” the receptionist said.

“No problem,” I replied.

12 Comments

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12 responses to “Here kitty kitty

  1. so is Bugs more like a cat then a dog??? he’s quite pleased that you just stuck up for him in regards to the cake episode

  2. Funny, I don’t like cats for the same reasons that you don’t like dogs. Cat owners let their cats rub up on me and laugh when I lean down to pet them and get my hand flayed.

    😉

  3. Julie Fisher

    All right, you did it again, Cindy. You made me laugh out loud with your comment about the Bible stories–“I know how that one ends.”
    Yes, cats rule.

  4. Your cat weighs more than two of our dogs (8lbs and 5lbs).

    I agree about the pet etiquette. I always wondered why people didn’t bring all their pets in at once and thought I had a great idea… until I brought in two cats (in a carrier) and two dogs on leashes. Holy crap. It was mayhem. There may have been some people jumping involved but it wasn’t from lack of trying to prevent it! 🙂

  5. And I feel so bad for the family leaving without their pet. Losing a pet is so horrible. Whenever I’m dreading the vet bill, I always think that paying the vet bill is better than losing them.

  6. Niece Lash

    I laughed out loud with the bible comment too. Cats definitely are the best in my humble opinion.

  7. I feel the same way about dogs. I don’t like their jumping or their drooling on me. Poor Siamese kitty. Great entry though!

  8. My cat despises going to the vet. Completely turns into a different cat. The thing that is always so weird to me is that the vet always comments on what a bad cat I have. And I’m going, WTF?? What do you expect?

  9. Cats are slowly, slowly growing on me. I’m the dog person with the jumpy, smelly, shoving dog. Yeah. But MoLinder the Roommate has two cats, and therefore, I have two cats.

    They’re not so bad.

  10. Sally–I always stick up for Bugs.
    Free Man–True dat. Just as many bad cat owners.
    Julie and Lash–same reason I avoided the movie Titanic–knew how it ended too.
    Jen–it was so sad…amazing how the critters work their way into our hearts.
    Kira–glad to know I’m not the only one.
    Bluestreak–wtf–there are no bad cats…bad vets maybe, but not cats.
    Rass–you can’t fight it so you might as admit defeat.

  11. Amy

    Well….I am an animal lover (all types!) & a pet-sitter, so I really love hearing this story about your vet visit! You made me feel like I was right there in the office with you! I’m sure your kitty will hate you for a few days! 😀

    I run into a lot of badly behaved dogs. People just don’t teach their dogs manners or boundaries. Not all dog owners are like this! 😀

  12. Amy G

    Cindy, that was great. THe whole episode is hillarious! COnsidering I’m trying to lose weight, the “Stupid Cat” comment was truly laugh out loud worthy. Then the cat spitting out the pill, too funny. Vet trips are always fun aren’t they?
    We are dog people, a Golden Retriever. Defective, but good. They are bred for hunting and swimming, right? No, not mine, he is scared stiff of loud noises, we’ve all developed an anxiety for thunderstorms, as poor Kipper can’t handle the noise. Then there is the sad pathetic way he tucks his tail and squints his eyes all up at the sound and sight of water. However, he is wonderful with the kids, will take anything they dish out. Yesterday he came downstairs with a hat full of Polly Pockets tied to his back, he was the tour bus for my 6 yr old. He loved it, I think.

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