Did you see this story? Evidently this British woman walked around with a BAT IN HER BRA for over four hours. She kept feeling something odd, but she just thought it was her cell phone vibrating in her jacket pocket.
All I have to say is this…if there were something alive in my bra, it wouldn’t take me four hours to find it. Four seconds is more like it. And if I ever looked down there and saw A BAT, well, that would be the end of me for a while.
I’ve been trying to think of a worse animal to find in your clothes. A snake in your shoes would be fairly devastating. I’ve heard of people having bugs in their ears. And, depending on how big and baggy your clothes are, I guess you could hide a possum or two…or perhaps a small goat.
On the other hand, this story wouldn’t be nearly as interesting if the animal had been a kitten or a puppy. Even a baby duck or chick. If that were the case we’d just say “awwww” and be on our way. But there’s nothing like a bat in a bra to get our attention. There’s just something about them that’s creepy and scary and downright gross.
Of course, there is one salient fact (or salacious, depending on your frame of mind) that I haven’t mentioned here–the woman’s bra size is 34FF. Double F? Who knew they even came in that size. That’s not a bra, that’s a retaining wall.
According to a report I heard on the radio this morning, the woman thinks that the bat climbed in while her bra was drying on the clothesline outside her home. But really, this little guy had to weigh several ounces…how could you not notice something like that?
Maybe the bra was black and the bat just blended in. Maybe she got dressed in the dark and was in a big hurry. Maybe she has a vampire fetish and wanted a special pet.
As for me, I will be extra careful when I’m getting dressed from now on.