Signs of the Times

Saturday afternoon I saw my new favorite bumper sticker. I liked it so much that I told a friend about it that evening. Well, this afternoon, I saw it again on the very same car. (I recognized it as the same car because the trunk is held in place by a green bungee cord–not something you see very often in this late-model town.) Seemed like a pretty odd coincidence.

Here’s what it says:

Baby Jesus cries everytime you don’t use your turn signal.

Isn’t that just the greatest bumper sticker ever? I know that as a Southerner it is my God-given right to ignore my turn signal and let all the other drivers out there just guess at my intentions. But I can’t help it…I use my turn signal. And you know what else? I use my horn too.  Every chance I get.

A few years ago my mother and I were in a parking lot–I don’t even remember where, but she was driving.  A car was backing up towards us. My mother kept politely saying “Stop, stop…” Naturally the car kept coming until I leaned over and blew the horn. “I don’t think they could hear you,” I said. My mother was a little shocked by my actions.

Horn blowing, it seems, is tantamount to using dark meat in chicken salad. It’s just not nice. 

Anyhow, I’m not a bumper sticker kind of girl. I put a Kerry sticker on my car the day before the last presidential election and took it off the next day. And I’m amazed by all the people I see still driving around with W ’04 stickers. Hello…he won…you can quit rubbing it in now.

So for now, my bumpers are clean. But if I see the one about Baby Jesus, I may have to make an exception.





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7 responses to “Signs of the Times

  1. Julie Fisher

    All right, Cindy. Here’s the challenge: I nominate you as a perfect creator of bumper stickers. Why, I bet you could go in the business of bumper sticker writing. Anybody who could come up with the advertisement for Cristy Cookies that shows a picture of a chocolate chip cookie and says “fruitcake’s worst nightmare” can certainly think up some dandy ideas for bumper stickers. Of course, I agree with you about the baby Jesus and the turn signal bumper sticker. That one is going to be hard to beat.

  2. Mother

    I was in a “jury pool” many years ago. One of the lawyers kept asking each potential juror if they had any bumper stickers on their cars and if so, what did they say. He said he had learned you could tell a lot about a person by their bumper stickers. (I didn’t know Cindy had a Kerry sticker)

  3. lashlee

    I have an Obama bumper sticker Kuck. Actually I don’t because Mike wouldn’t let me. He said someone might take their road rage out on me if they saw it…being in Williamson County and all. So my “O” sticker is just in my mind for now.

  4. Amazing! That bumper sticker is awesome. I’m from Seattle, the land of crazy, enraged drivers, so Southerners kind of took me by surprise. I’ve totally toned down my speed and agility on the road since moving here. I now drive in the slow lane at about five miles below the limit.

    But, in my defense, I always use my turn signal.

    I have a “13.1” sticker on my car, which is new. I already had an Apple sticker on my front window right where my rear view mirror attaches, because I thought that was pretty low key. The 13.1 sticker looks weird and bulky and I regret putting it on. But it’s on now…so…that’s it.

    This blog cracked me up.

  5. hereinfranklin


    Thanks for reading. Visit often. I’ll add you to the blogroll. Now, at the risk of sounding really ignorant…what is “13.1” and why does it have a sticker?

  6. Hahahah.

    13.1 is secret code.
    It’s part of that thing that suburban people do to try and create a secret community around a hobby or interest.

    13.1 and 26.2 are the miles of the half marathon and marathons. So if you ever see those stickers you know that the person sporting them is a runner. I do half-marathons, not full ones, and I don’t think I will ever do the full. So this year I bought the cool, or so I thought, sticker.


  7. hereinfranklin

    You know, the person with the “Baby Jesus cries” bumper sticker is a runner…the numbers you put on your shirt were displayed on the rear window…so maybe that was you and this is some kind of cosmic circular Groundhog Day-esque nightmare that I am destined to relive forever…

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